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[Hey, It's Wednesday. September 30th, 2009. 9:46 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] Only gay people are born on September 30th. You're the man now, dog!

Kathleen's Marriage Meme [Hey, It's Monday. July 27th, 2009. 8:44 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] The top 5 people I would marry RIGHT NOW if they asked me: ( (lol probably not rly) ) 3 !, You're the man now, dog!

[Hey, It's Tuesday. May 5th, 2009. 1:21 am, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] Wtf is wrong with me, I have never updated my Livejournal on Cinco De Mayo in the 5 years I've had it. Cinco De Mayo is a big deal. You're the man now, dog!

Kind of gay, but [Hey, It's Monday. April 13th, 2009. 9:17 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] http://fatblobof-irish.livejournal.com/295644.html This is never gonna stop being adorable to me. It's also never going to be finished, cause Linda started making it 2 and a half years ago. You're the man now, dog!

[Hey, It's Tuesday. February 17th, 2009. 11:11 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] So I heard a while back that the exanimate token black character, Cleaveland, from Family Guy was getting his own spinoff series. I really don't give much of a shit, cause he seems like the least interesting character ever, but I really hope they go with the obvious choice for the title sequence. Rip off the Drew Carey Show. Have them all dance the same way, have him mouth the words, but in the end, have him scream "Connecticut!!!" Instead of Ohio. That is where it's set, right? Connecticut? Or is it Rhode Island? I am SOME kind of comic genius. /tarded I would have Twittered this instead of wasting the time to sign on to eljay and go to the update page, but the concept was too many characters long to fit. Godamn Twitter, stifling the flow of my creative juices with it's facist 140 character limit. My favorite customer came in tonight for the first time in a millenia! He is some extreme end of the spectrum kind of guy. He's either decked out in full hobo garb, or he comes strolling in looking like a hobo that mugged a wealthy entrepeneur on his way to a charity ball and took all his clothes. You can tell it's him though, cause you can still see that tiny little gray pony-rat tail thing held in place with what just looks like a rubber band under that swanky fedora he's adorned. He came in once in a full-fledged suit, cumberbund and all. This man FASCINATES ME! What could he possibly do for a living that requires him to either super-swank, or super-slum in his appearance! And how did he get so damn cool! How disturbed would he be if he knew I chronicled my inexplicable fixation with him on the internet! So many unanswered questions!!! D: Whatever, I love him, and if I could, I would give him all the Parliament Light 100's in the universe. 3 !, You're the man now, dog!

[Hey, It's Tuesday. February 3rd, 2009. 11:51 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] I posted this as a comment to a blog of Amy's and then realized how WTFHOLYSHITTHAT"SACTUALLYREALLYLONG it was, so now It's a journal entry. "I've been having the same issue as far as questioning whether or not I'm going to school for the right thing. I was never under the impression that I was going to ENJOY studying dental hygiene (not that I've even really STARTED yet) but I dunno....recently someone I went to highschool with wrote a journal entry about how his classes are going at culinary school, and since reading it, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that that's where I'm going to end up, and that I should stop wasting time and blowing money on gen ed classes that are required for a program of study I might A. not get accepted to, B. will get accepted to, but my notorious lack of willingness to withstand anything even remotely unpleasant for the greater good will prevent me from succeeding, and eventually, from attending classes anymore. Going to Franklin Pierce for however many months I did go made me realize I fucking HATE college. But I had to go back, so I chose something that made sense to me: Something that is a 2-year program, (as opposed to the 4 year I was invested in at Franklin Pierce) makes very good money, and has a flexible schedule so that I can have the time and means to enjoy the money I make, and live the way I want to live. That all sounds fine to me, and honestly, if some divine being descended from the heavens and imbued me with all the skills I needed to be a dental hygienist, and handed me a degree, I'd be all set. But I've really got to know myself over the past 2-3 years, and it's become remarkably evident that I have a damn-near impossible time committing to things I don't enjoy if there isn't some sort of tangible incentive, something I NEED (i.e. waking up early and going to work, even though I'd much rather sleep in because I'm not retarded and I realize I need money to function the way I've become accustomed to functioning). I know the argument could be made that I NEED the degree and that should be enough, but there are two problems with that: 1. Until the final few days of my last class, there's always going to be that uncertainty that I'll complete the program of study and get the degree, so a tangible incentive is not guarenteed and 2. I'll always feel like I could be going about getting a degree in a more enjoyable way That's where culinary school comes into play. My plan, for a pretty long time actually, was to go to culinary school when I graduated. Then I realized I love children, and my goals shifted. Fastforwards some time, experiences with kids, self-reflection, yadda-yadda-yadda, I realized I would make a horrible teacher because I do not, and never have had any sort of authoritative command. Kids do like me, but they don't respect me the way the should respect a teacher. I'm like the fun aunt that they can climb all over, that catches them having a cookie before dinner, but covers their ass so mom won't ream them out. I've now come to realize that I can just poop out my own babies some day, and my love of chillens can be satisfied in that way. (And I can have an authoritative command over children in my family, I know that first hand. I wouldn't let MY kid walk all over me, just strangers' kids) Both professions have their ups and downs. Dental Hygiene's downs are largely just in the process of getting there. And then the occasional old person mouth with rotting cigarette breath. It's probably very easy to get sick too. With something in the culinary field (And this is a very broad spectrum I feel like it would be fun to explore what my expertise would be. I know I can make very pretty cakes! ) there's the issue of the displeased customer. I guess that's a risk with almost everything, but I just can't imagine being able to cope with someone being dissatisfied with something I worked really hard to create for the sole purpose of making them happy. I would like to hope that the amount of times I would leave customers with full bellies and smiling faces would outweigh or at least create a tolerable balance between the occasional failure. I feel like I need to talk to people who have been through it all. And I actually have that, (My aunt is a dental hygienist and the assistant manager of my department, Pat, was a chef for a really long time. But he's kind of a wildcard asshole, I never know if he's going to be a decent guy or a loose-lipped backstabbing shit talking motherfucker) but I'm not one to be like "Hay, so I'm having a beginning-of-adult-life-crisis, could you answer some questions for me and help talk me through this?" I don't know what's going to happen, but I need to figure it out pretty soon, because right now, I'm throwing a whole lot of money into classes just to keep my parents happy, and they might be the wrong classes. This turned into more of a journal entry of my own than a comment. My b! " 4 !, You're the man now, dog!

Note to self [Hey, It's Tuesday. January 27th, 2009. 1:58 am, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] I am getting dangerously close to 1337 journal entries. 1325 down, 12 to go. Keep an eye out. You're the man now, dog!

[Hey, It's Friday. January 23rd, 2009. 1:26 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] Post anonymously and ask me a few questions, no matter the subject and I'll do my best to answer them as truthfully as possible. Or, tell me something you feel you need to say. IP addresses won't be logged. I can't even fathom how many times I've posted this in the past and been like "Dude, this is totally the last time I'm doing this, you better make sure sure you take advantage of this rare opportunity!" And then proceeded to post it again a year later with a similar mantra. Take it or leave it. I'll probably do it again someday. My only request is that you be awesome about it. Astound me. 16 !, You're the man now, dog!

[Hey, It's Wednesday. January 21st, 2009. 12:35 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] Holy 5 year anniversary of me having an eljay, Batman! You're the man now, dog!

That's right, I bumped it. Figure shit out! [Hey, It's Thursday. December 11th, 2008. 11:27 pm, and you're using the I N T E R N E T] The Rules: 1. Pick 15 or 20 of your favorite movies. 2. Go to IMDb* and find a quote from each movie. (internetmoviedatabase or http://www.imdb.com/) 3. Post them here for everyone to guess. 4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie. 5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions. Thats cheating try to post answers you think in one comment. 7. For best way to go quote to quote w/o seeing the other answers, grab a piece of paper and pen and write down numbers 1-20 and jot down the answer and post comment at once in the end. (even if someone had the answer put it down) 6. Have FUN! 1. You never understood, why we did this. The audience knows the truth: the world is simple. It's miserable, solid all the way through. But if you could fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder, and then you... then you got to see something really special... you really don't know?... it was... it was the look on their faces... Alex! The Prestige! 2. -You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that? -Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint. Alyssa! Iron Man! :D *air-bates to Robert Downey Jr.* 3. You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood. Alex! American Psycho! Come on people, why was this not gotten sooner? 4. You sexy like a chocolate strawberry. 5. You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever. Kathleen! The Dark Knight! 6. Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like... Alyssa! Idiocracy! 7. Oh! Richie fuck me like a cop not a lawyer. 8. - Is there any reason you shouldn't be in this man's Army? - I'm a cross-dressing homosexual pacifist with a spot on my lung. - As long as you don't have flat feet. Alyssa! Across The Universe! 9. - Fat woman, you're in charge here, right? - Fat woman, my ass! - I'm with the Axe Gang! - Axe Gang, my ass! - Boss! - Boss, my ass! - You have to pay our medical bills! - Bills, my ass! - We're on the same side! - Same side, my ass! - A snake! - Snake, my ass! Alyssa! Kung Fu Hustle! 10. - Josh, How ya doing man? I just saw the new nurse and she is... very attractive. - This pleases me. Alyssa! Heavyweights! 11. I had a 1590 on my SAT, I got a 44 on my MCAT, and I have a 4.0 GPA from MIT. I thought I had my life mapped out, but then I remembered what my non linear equations professor once told me, always account for variable change... I let down my good friends, but as it turns out, they weren't too bad at simple math either. I scored the prettiest girl in school. I got beaten down by an old school Vegas thug who was having trouble accepting his retirement, but I worked out a deal with him that got him a nice pension... And I lied to my mother, but I confessed a lie and well, she still loved me... So my senior year of college I joined this team and I learned this new skill. I went to Vegas 17 times to use it. I made hundreds of thousands of dollars counting cards. And then I had it all stolen from me, twice... How's that for life experience professor? Did I dazzle you? Did I jump off the page? Annie! 21! 12. Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners. Alyssa! Super Troopers! 13. EGG SHEN! You have come a long ways to find me. But it is too late. There are two girls with green eyes, and I will marry them both. And then I will sacrifice Gracie Law to appease my emperor and live out my earthly pleasures with Miao Yin. [cackles] That's right, Egg Shen. The best of two worlds! 14. Dear Lord, we ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. And we ask forgiveness, Lord, for the fornication that Mr. Sprock and me committed this morning on this very table. Annie! Where The Heart Is! 15. - Just stay out of my way or you'll pay, listen to what I say. - Hey, why don't I just go and eat some hay. I can lay by the bay, make things out of clay, I just may, what'd ya say? Alyssa! Happy Gilmore! I realize since I've done this in the past probably a year ago now, there will be some repeats. But I tried to at lest get different quotes 6 !, You're the man now, dog!

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